I Want a Divorce: How to File for Divorce Against Your Partner
Is your relationship breaking down? It can be sad when this starts to happen, and you have felt this happening for several months. But if you hear your partner issue the words ‘I want a divorce’ it can be heartbreaking.
After the initial shock, however, you will no doubt want to know answers to questions like ‘should I divorce my wife?’ and ‘how to get a divorce?’
The truth is there are several steps you should go throw to ensure you know you are making the right decision and you don’t have any complications later.
Here’s everything you need to know.
Speak With Your Partner
The most important thing you can do if your relationship is breaking down is to try and speak with your partner.
The worst thing you can do is not speak. Those conversations can be hard but by being honest about how you are feeling you can keep on top of everything and avoid that nagging feeling of ‘I think I want a divorce’ that all marriages encounter.
There are some conversations you can have at the start of your marriage or relationship which can make things easier at a later date: what is the purpose of the marriage? If you’re marrying someone because everyone else is you won’t be happy. If you’re marrying because you’re lonely you might find yourself more lonely in the marriage than out.
You might be able to save your marriage through honest conversations. If there’s something that you are struggling with, how will your partner ever understand that it’s an issue unless you raise it?
Changing these small steps might help you feel better and more able to breathe in the marriage.
There are some things for which there can’t be any compromise. If you don’t want children but your partner does then there’s no way around this. However, this is usually best discussed when the relationship gets serious and before marriage.
Keep it Civil
Always try to keep things civil, however hard that may be. There’s no need to create arguments where there’s no need for them. And you should avoid at all costs rising to the bait that your partner puts out there.
This is because arguments get you nowhere. They lead to you feeling angry and upset and they can affect other areas of your life where there’s no need for them to do.
At a later date, your ex-spouse could use this against you to accuse you of unreasonable behavior. Don’t fall into this trap. Speak to friends and close family members if you need someone to talk to.
Decide on Key Issues Before You Get Legal
It’s important you decide between yourself on key issues before getting lawyers involved. Getting a lawyer to decide who gets custody of your children is the worst thing you can do.
This can be traumatic for the children and it can lead to one side trying to stop the other from seeing the children as revenge. The children can become pawns in a fight between you and your partner. This is completely unacceptable.
Try to come up with a timetable that works for both of you. Ask your children’s opinion. Who would they most like to live with full time and who would they like to see on the weekends?
If you don’t have children then custody battles can still erupt over pets or other household objects that you bought together.
Settle the Money First
If you have a joint account close it down and divide it between you. Try to come up with a fair settlement between you rather than letting a court decide it.
You are technically entitled to half of each other’s estate but this could be unfair if one of you contributed more to the other and potentially ruinous.
The same can be said you have a successful business. Do you want your partner to have half of the business and involved in the day-to-day running of it? If you’re thinking about when to get a divorce then the answer is to sort this out first.
4. Hire a Great Attorney
A great divorce attorney is an asset you need and the first official step in how to get a divorce. Even if you feel as if you have sorted everything beforehand you still want someone to guide you through the legal process to make sure you understand everything and that all the right procedures have followed.
Before hiring a lawyer make sure you ask them the right questions and try to have a face-to-face meeting with them to assess if you connect with them.
Are they going to be able to meet your needs? Can they offer you any emotional support you might need? And will they answer your calls at short notice?
If this is not possible because of the current pandemic situation then be sure to arrange a meeting with them over Zoom or Skype.
The price is also important so be sure to make sure this is absolutely clear from the get-go. This is how you keep divorce costs in check.
What to Do If Your Partner Says ‘I Want a Divorce?’ Talk It Through
The worst thing you can do is to create a climate in your marriage where divorce becomes your only option because of a lack of dialogue.
Always talk through your problems. Try to be as civil as possible and be honest. Failure to do this will lead to arguments and bitterness which can lead to a messy divorce.
Be sure to make sure you agree to everything with your spouse before getting the lawyers involved to make things run more smoothly.
If you are interested in more advice about how to react when your partner says ‘I want a divorce’ be sure to check out the rest of our site.