The 8 Most Common Things Couples Fight About
Does it seem like lately, your relationship is all fights and less fun? Relationships can be amazing, but they can also lead to plenty of disagreements.
When two people come together, each with varying backgrounds and views, there are bound to be a few fights. But have you ever wondered what other couples argue over?
To learn more about things couples fight about, keep reading. Here are eight of the most common fights in relationships—plus, how to work through them.
1. Money Is One of the Most Common Things Couples Fight About
Perhaps unsurprisingly, money is one of the most common causes of relationship arguments.
Finances can be a very personal thing, and when two people come together and open a shared bank account, there’s bound to be the occasional argument. Some of us are natural savers, while others spend more easily, so there’s a lot to disagree about.
One party may be unhappy about how much the other person is spending, what they’re spending it on, or general anxiety when you don’t have much money coming in.
If you find yourself frequently fighting about money, it can help to sit down together and work out what your shared financial goals are, along with what you can do to make them happen.
Another common cause of fights is jealousy. Sometimes, jealousy stems from prior infidelity.
If you’ve been cheated on in the past, it’s easy to see how that can impact your current relationship. Or, we all know what it’s like when we think our other half may be spending too much time with someone in the office or the gym.
While jealousy can be tough, if you have a relationship with a solid foundation, there shouldn’t be anything to worry about. It can help to talk to your partner about your concerns, but if you’re trying to repair the relationship after cheating, couples therapy can be a big help.
3. How to Raise the Kids
If you have kids, you know how stressful it can be. Arguing in a relationship often comes from issues relating to children and how to raise them.
Disagreements can range from what school to send kids to, how to discipline after misbehavior, or what to do when your teenager starts acting up. Some couples also disagree on whether to have kids at all, but these discussions should always be had before getting serious with someone.
Coming to agreements over how to raise kids can be challenging, and it often requires a lot of compromise and patience on both sides.
Let’s talk about sex—or, rather, let’s argue about it. Sex is a massive issue for many couples and often leads to fights.
Sometimes, one partner wants sex more often than the other person. This can be stressful and personal, as everyone has different desires and likes in the bedroom.
If sex is a major issue in your relationship, this could be a red flag that your relationship isn’t meant to be. Although, if you want to make it work, joint sessions with a relationship therapist can make a big difference.
When you get married, you’re not just marrying one person, but marrying into their whole family. Depending on the personalities of their family members, this can be tough.
If you struggle with a demanding mother-in-law, a racist uncle, or a stern father, family gatherings and holidays can become stressful and lead to fights.
You can’t always get along with everyone, but it helps sometimes to bite your tongue and be polite, avoid conflict. If there’s someone in your partner’s family you never seem to get along with, it may be better to avoid spending time with them, if you can.
6. Household Chores
Errands and household chores seem like a small thing, but they can lead to big fights. We all lead busy, hectic lives, and laundry or dishes are the last things you want to think about when you get home.
However, it’s unfair for all of the household responsibilities to fall on one person. They may feel like they are being taken advantage of and unappreciated.
The work in relationships should be shared equally, so that each person pulls their own weight.
Careers are important to us all, but if one person has a demanding job, with long hours, it puts a strain on the relationship. Late nights and weekend work cut into time spent together, leading to arguments.
If you’re the one working long hours, try to still make time for your partner, or plan the occasional weekend away. Even if you’re busy with work, you still need to dedicate quality time to your relationship.
Communication, or lack thereof, can lead to problems.
Does your partner struggle to text you back? Do they emotionally shut down when you try to bring up something serious?
It can be hard to communicate with your partner, but it helps to be gentle with one another, ask open-ended questions to encourage discussion, and use active listening to really hear what the other person is saying.
Try Couples Therapy for Help with Arguments
As you can see, there are plenty of things that couples fight about. Even couples who have been together for decades experience the occasional fight, but if you’re fighting more than you’d like, it could be helpful to seek out couples counseling.
Working with a therapist can help both parties learn new strategies and coping mechanisms, so you can handle disagreements.
It requires patience and compromise, but you can make your relationship stronger.
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